Page 21 - McAdams
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Involve your family – a meaningful memorial honours a life and helps those left behind to begin their grief journey. We recognize that talking about a funeral can be difficult but the plans you make will affect others and they may well bring something special to the process. If you prefer, as many do, to plan privately, that is fine too but do let those closest to you know that you have done so. Even if you don’t share the details, they should be aware that you have made plans and that your preferred funeral home has them on file.
Start a conversation about life not death – how do you or your loved ones want to be remembered? When the time comes what are the important things that should be celebrated. Again, we know this can be difficult but, once begun, it can be a warm and loving discussion. We endorse a program created by the Funeral And Memorial Information Council called Have The Talk Of A Lifetime which offers a variety of suggestions for ‘having the talk’. Learn more at:
Spouses often preplan together. Perhaps that’s the first conversation you should have. You can start slowly – later in this book you will find pages where you can begin to gather information and consider some of the choices you might make. Make notes, jot down ideas and questions, record your thoughts about memorialization activities that you have experienced and found meaningful. This can be a great way to start a conversation later with family or your preplanning counsellor.
It’s not uncommon for spouses or children to make plans for an infirm partner or parent. Ideally they can contribute if they are able but your funeral director or preplanning counsellor can offer you guidance on clarifying who typically has authority or takes responsibility in such matters. If a family member expresses interest in preplanning you can certainly reach out to our staff and arrange for an appointment where both you and your loved one can ask questions and learn more together.

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